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      Would Jesus have blessed a gay marriage?

      Luke 7 July 7, 2025 by Sebastian Meadows-Helmer

      2 months ago, I took part in a street protest 

      against the Catholic School Board motion 

      to ban the Pride Flag.

      It was my first time at a protest, 

      and there were a few things I didn’t understand.

      People were all joining in one chant, and I just couldn’t understand what they were chanting.

      What I heard was:

      Queer kids forever

      Clause, 

      it’s never.

      The second part: clause, like semicolon, or grammatically set apart…something like it’s never going to happen 

      that queer kids will have the freedoms they want.

      Clause

      It’s never.

      A kind of pessimistic outlook on reality.

      It was a little confusing, 

      so I asked one of the bystanders what the words were, 

      and they responded:

      That it was “queer kids forever

      Closets never

      never closets

      As in: there should never have to be closets 

      where queer kids need to stay in 

      because they don’t feel safe.

      I include this anecdote as a bit of a humorous introduction, 

      because I admit that I have much to learn.

      But it’s a rule of thumb 

      That if you don’t understand something, 

      to ask someone nicely who seems to have more experience or knowledge, and then you will get some answers.

      Having an open mind is an important prerequisite 

      when we deal with challenging topics

      Including today’s Intriguing question:

      “Would Jesus have blessed a same-gendered marriage?”

      >>>

      First off, two things:

      The modern definition of a legal same-gendered marriage

       and modern conceptions of queer identity 

      are very different from understandings from 2000 years ago, 

      so it’s a little difficult to transpose our current moral and ethical problems back into time.

      Second, Jesus neither condemned homosexuality, 

      nor explicitly condoned it.

      That is, he never said anything like “blessed are the 2SLGTBQIA+”, 

      But he also never said “woe to you who are non-binary.”

      There is only really one passage where Jesus talks about marriage, 

      in Matthew 19,

      Where he is questioned about legal causes for divorce.

      There he quotes Genesis that “a man…shall be joined to his wife”

      And that what “God has joined let no one separate.”

      His point here is less on opposite vs. same-gendered marriage, 

      but more about his very strict belief that: 

      marriage can’t be just cancelled, 

      because it is ordained by God.

      The only reason allowed by Jesus for divorce is sexual immorality.

      So although some conservative scholars 

      use this passage to say that Jesus only 

      Approved of opposite-gender marriage, 

      they are reading a lot into this passage. 

      More than what is in there.

      Really, the only clear conclusion you can get from this speech 

      is that 

      Marriage is a life-long, unifying relationship 

      that shouldn’t be broken except for the most extreme cases.

      Jesus then goes on to talk about eunuchs, (castrated males)

      who didn’t fit into any neat binary gender category,

      He acknowledged the reality of their existence,

      And stated that all eunuch are recipients of God’s favour and salvation,

      Jesus recognized that not everyone is called to marriage.

      Some are called to celibacy or singleness!

      Jesus recognizes that lifelong traditional marriage is not for everyone, 

      and that diversity in the Kingdom of heaven exists.

      So on one hand, it’s impossible to claim that Jesus would have definitely blessed a queer marriage, 

      because the only time he talks about marriage, 

      he talks about a man and a woman.

      However, he does not dwell on the gender issue, 

      and focusses more on issues of faith and diversity in God’s kingdom.

      There is no record of Jesus blessing a gay marriage, 

      but there’s also no record of Jesus blessing any marriage, 

      even a straight one. 

      We know he attended only one wedding, in Cana. 

      That’s all we know officially.

      The reality is Jesus didn’t talk about queer topics directly. 

      However, indirectly, 

      through both his lifestyle and his teachings, 

      we can gain another perspective, 

      esp. if we use the lens of queer theology.

      In Jesus’ time, men had a few traditional, normative male roles: 

      They could be the head of a household with wife and kids, 

      or they could be single in an army 

      or part of a group of male bandits.

      However, Jesus and his disciples were none of the above: 

      They were single, took on a life of poverty, and pacifism

      they left behind traditions, family obligations, 

      That is, they were non-normative, 

      their relationships were not normal, traditional or expected, 

      you could say it was a queer lifestyle.

      Jesus had said that for the sake of the Kingdom of God:

      one must leave father, mother, parents, children, siblings! 

      The traditional family values and roles were secondary for Jesus,for God’s sake one is called to a non-typical role where God comes first.

      Jesus de-emphasized “traditional family values”

      He said “my mother and brothers are those who hear the word of God 

      and do it”.

      “Whoever comes to me must hate their family.”

      For Jesus, traditional families have less value than families of choice,

      That is the family one chooses among other followers of God

      is more important than traditional biological ties.

      The Gospels time and time again point 

      to how Jesus’ ministry expanded boundaries.

      One could assume if he were here today 

      that his ministry would have included queer folks.

      >-

      Jesus often blessed unusual, marginalized and excluded people,

      This shocked onlookers and demonstrated the radical inclusivity 

      of God’s kingdom.

      Jesus blessed the small, the shamed, 

      the suffering and the stranger: 

      groups often ignored, feared or looked down upon.

      He blessed children: 

      the tiniest ones who had little status 

      and he went out of his way to rebuke his disciples: 

      “let the children come to me, do not hinder them!”

      Jesus blessed the poor, the meek, those who mourn. (Sermon Mt)

      He blessed and ate with tax collectors, prostitutes, and sinners, 

      people considered (by society) as spiritually unclean.

      He also took time with women who were of low social standing 

      in a patriarchal society.

      The Canaanite woman (Mat 15.21), 

      the woman suffering from haemorrhaging,

      The Samaritan woman at the well.

      Jesus’ “blessings revealed a radical reversal of 

      social and religious expectations, 

      showing that God’s kingdom welcomes the unlikely.”

      So would he have blessed a gay marriage?

      Now it’s important to note that the context of a Jewish or Roman wedding ceremony in Jesus’ time was very different from our own.

      Jewish weddings at the time would not have needed a rabbi or priest 

      to be valid.

      Marriage was a legal and communal contract, 

      not a temple ritual.

      It was a family-centred affair 

      usually happening at the groom’s house.

      The marriage was often arranged by the male heads of the households.

      But the couple’s consent was necessary, 

      and lay witnesses were needed.

      There would be blessings spoken over the wine and the couple 

      by respected elders or teachers but not necessarily by a priest.

      Like I mentioned earlier, 

      there is no record of Jesus blessing a couple, 

      but one passage in particular gives insights into how 

      he might have approached a same-gendered relationship.

      In our Gospel text this morning we hear of a 

      centurion who had a slave whom he valued highly,

      who was ill and close to death.

      This Roman army official sent Jewish elders to ask Jesus to “come and heal my slave.” 

      Now who is this slave that he valued so highly, 

      held in warm personal regard?

      What is the relationship between the centurion and his quote “slave.”?

      Now this is a very interesting question.

      You see there is another version of this story, 

      in the Gospel of Matthew,

      And in Matthew’s version, (Ch 8) 

      The word used instead of slave can be either translated as servant, 

      or child or youth.

      So, we have the Centurion and his youth, 

      or young male friend.

      As was common with Roman soldiers, 

      this relationship is best understood as a sexual relationship; 

      any 1st century reader would have recognized 

      that this was a homoerotic relationship.

      Centurions weren’t allowed to marry during their period of military service, 

      So it was understandable that a centurion 

      would seek out physical comfort from his slave or boy lover.

      Pederasty, that is, sexual activity involving a man and a boy or youth,

      Was pervasive in the Graeco-Roman world, 

      It was socially acceptable, even condoned

      Or “Idealized as a normal process in the course of growing up for a man.”

      Jesusreaction is he does not condemn! 

      He just goes ahead and heals the boy.

      Jesus must have known or assumed they were in a gay relationship,

      Because these types of relations were not uncommon 

      in Roman towns in Galilee and the surrounding region.

      While Jesus doesn’t explicitly condone this same-gendered relationship, he also didn’t tell the centurion that he had to be celibate 

      or marry a woman.

      Jesus for instance did not quote verses from Leviticus 

      that condemn male-to-male anal intercourse.

      Jesus does not condemn same-gender relationships 

      although he does condemn a lot of other things, like hypocrisy, 

      hubris, greed and neglecting the poor.

      It seems that the early church and Jesus were not concerned with loving, responsible gay relationships; 

      rather they were concerned about questions of faith.

      “Jesus acknowledges that there is no greater faith in all of Israel 

      than in this Roman centurion actively involved in a 

      responsible homoerotic relationship.”

      So; would Jesus have blessed a gay marriage? 

      I would argue 

      yes.

      Jesus blesses and loves all different types of relationships:

      Whether it’s the traditional: un-divorced opposite gender with children,

      Or couples childless by choice or not

      Same-gendered

      Single, celibate whatever.

      I think Jesus would bless and love them all.

      Love and commitment are not just the purview of 

      opposite gender relationships,

      But can be found in a variety of bonds including queer marriage.

      I personally know of same-gendered Christian relationships 

      founded on principles of mutual respect and fidelity.

      Faithfulness and inclusion are hallmarks of Jesus’ living out 

      and teaching of God’s Kingdom

      And so gradually, we are starting to realize that 

      in the words of our hymn:In Christ the love unspoken 

      now dares to speak its name.

      *Hymn of the Day (see page 6) “The Love that Goes Unspoken”

      —-

      Sources: Queer Bible Commentary: Luke (Robert. E. Goss)

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